


Another First Night

by TransBoyFanBoy



Series: Those Nights [8]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Fluff, Non-Sexual Age Play, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Other, Self-Discovery, dxlb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-08 13:41:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20836400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TransBoyFanBoy/pseuds/TransBoyFanBoy
Summary: Julian has been having some urges ever since the trip to the mall. Jackson gives him tips, and a storm ends up not being such a bad thing.





	Another First Night

**Author's Note:**

> So sorry I’ve been gone, everyone. I still can’t promise regular updates, as I have been Incredibly busy with school and work lately, but I will try to get back into it.

Julian's POV:

Three months.

It took three months for me to gather the courage and nerve needed to tell even one of my brothers about the nagging urge I've been having to try out regression. 

After Nathan's suggestion a few months back, I was shaken and bouncing back and forth on what I wanted my next move to be. Thankfully, it was summer break, and aside from preparing to join Noah in community college, I had a lot of time to myself to decide how I wanted to do it and practice the conversation in advance.

Honestly, the most difficult part was deciding which brother I wanted to let in on this situation first. I fought with myself over it and considered telling them both at the same time, but in the end I reasoned that getting advice from someone who has first-hand experience with regression would be the best option. So, I chose to bring it up with Jackson.

With that decision out of the way, I now had to play the waiting game. Realistically, I knew that Jackson wouldn't mind at all, but it is a sensitive topic that shouldn't be broached carelessly. I had to time it perfectly, which meant that there was a lot of waiting. Anxiety shook me to my core as I considered that this could change the dynamic of m tv relationship with Jackson and Noah, but I knew that Nathan was right. I needed to let someone in.

The perfect opening for me to tell Jackson came the weekend before the start of his senior year and my first year of community college. Jackson and I had woken up early that Saturday morning; we wanted to buy some last-minute supplies and clothes for the new school year. Noah decided to stay home because he was already prepared for Monday, and he found it more vital to sleep in before the inevitable sleep deprivation that comes with being a college student. 

'It'll just be the two of us,' I thought, 'Maybe I can finally talk to him about regression.'

We left the house and drove to a nearby outlet mall just outside of town. Since it was so early, the stores had just opened and were devoid of other shoppers. We joked around for a bit as we browsed, and after spending enough money to make me cry internally, Jackson and I walked out to the car anf left in search of food. It was almost 11:00 a.m. at that point and neither of us had eaten breakfast, so we decided to stop for brunch at an IHOP about fifteen minutes from our house. 

Once we were seated at a table, we ordered our food and killed time rambling about unimportant things. As Jackson spoke, I couldn't help but zone out and fidget in my seat; I looked around the restaurant to find our general area almost empty of people. 

'That's good—tell him now.' My thoughts were loud and repetitive in my head, and my heart raced as I rubbed my hands together anxiously.

"Hey, Julian. Julian!" Jackson snapped his fingers in my face to pull me out of my trance. 

"Oh, yeah. Sorry, what was that?" I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly as he huffed.

"I asked if you were doing alright. You seem like you've got a war going on in your head, dude." His words only served to make my heart beat faster. My hands shook as I took a sip of water and cleared my throat.

"I've just got something on my mind, I guess." He scoffed at my words.

"You guess? Julian, you've been zoned out since we ordered. What's going on?" I sighed and prepared myself to tell Jackson everything, to let him in on a vulnerable side of myself.

'God, this must be how Jackson felt when I first found out.' I opened my mouth and let the words flow out.

"How did you know you were different? That you regress sometimes, I mean..." I asked the question meekly, and his eyebrows furrow in thought.

"I guess it was just an epiphany, really. I hadn't ever paid much attention to the small quirks I had growing up, but one day, I just... did. It wasn't until I started actively thinking about my feelings of yearning when passing toy stores or baby aisles, or until I started keeping tabs on all of the times I felt the desire to suck my thumb or rub my face in a soft blanket, that I realized what was going on. Even then, I had to research the term for it... Why? Are you thinking you might be... small?" My face flushed a bright crimson hue, and I hid it behind my hands for a few moments as I evened out my breathing.

"I mean, maybe? This thing happened a few months ago, uh, on the day Noah, Nathan, you and I went to the mall. It just got me thinking about it a lot, and now I'm getting these... urges." He tilted his head curiously.

"What happened at the mall? What urges?"

"Well, when Nathan and I were shopping together for gifts for you, we went to this clothing store that had all sorts of soft-aesthetic items. So, we picked out the clothes for you and went to check out. Before we got to the register, I noticed this baggy sweatshirt hanging on a rack a few feet away. It was so pretty, Jackson, and I don't know what came over me, but I wanted it. I turned around to go back to Nathan and leave the pastel thing on the rack, but Nathan was right behind me. He just smiled at me and bought it for me... he tried to comfort me about it later and told me it was okay and that he "recognized the signs", but I didn't want to think about it. Now, I keep getting these urges I never have before—I want to cuddle, color, play, suck my thumb, and all these other things. It could be nothing, but I'm scared, Jacks." I sighed shakily as I finish my explanation, and Jackson's eyebrows rose as he took it all in.

"I've gotta say that's not what I was expecting," he starts, "but that's okay! Everything's alright, Jules. I'm glad you trusted me enough to open up like this. I know how vulnerable you feel. Why are you scared?"

"I'm not really scared about being small. I'm scared because I don't want this to change anything. Even though I still love doting on you and caring for you when you’re small, I'm nervous that me being small as well could change our relationship. I don't want you guys to look at me any differently, you know?" He shook his head fondly.

"Jules, nothing is going to change our brotherly dynamic. You'll still be a pain in the ass that Noah and I have to deal with." He snickered, successfully lightening the mood for a moment.

"Hey, don't make me tell Nathan that you cursed!" I laughed as his cheeks grew red. It took him a minute to recover and get serious again.

"Seriously, though, it won't change. I can't tell you that we won't look at you differently, because that's what happens when people let other people in on secrets—their perspectives change. It's not a bad thing, and it won't affect the way we treat you. If you want my advice or even if you don't, here it is: look into it. From what you've told me, it's pretty clear that you are an age regressor, or at least that you have the potential to be one. So, my advice is to look into it and try it out. You can see what you like and what you don't, and it will give you a clearer picture of what your regression will be like. And remember, Julian: I'm always here for you if you need me." I sniffled as I took a bite of the meal that I hadn't even noticed was placed in front of me.

"Thanks, Jacks." He smiled and tucked into his food.

We finished our meal pretty quickly and left after paying. The car ride home was blissfully silent aside from the hushed music flowing through the speakers. 

When we pulled into our driveway, we got out of the car, went inside, and watched tv with Noah, who had decided to starfish out on the sofa with a bag of chips. 

The three of us watched lazily for a while before Jackson announced that he had to get ready for a date night with Nathan. I followed him up the stairs, tossing out an excuse of wanting to help him pick something to wear (even though I know that Jackson could show up wearing nothing but a trash bag, and Nathan would still love him). 

We entered his room, and he turned to face me.

“What’s up?” Jackson asked with an eyebrow raised. I smiled abashedly.

“I was just wondering if I could look through your regression gear to get an idea of what I might want to try out.” I ended the sentence as though I were asking a question, and Jackson shrugged.

“Knock yourself out, Jules.” He went to the closet and pulled out a few boxes of little supplies—his collection had grown quite a bit over the past few months—and set them on the floor in front of my feet. 

I plopped down onto the floor and opened the boxes one by one as Jackson went back to his closet to search for an outfit. He took his clothes and went into our joint bathroom; I heard the shower turn on. I stared at the visible contents at the top of the first box, and I slowly pulled them out. Though I had done this multiple times when taking care of Jackson, it felt different this time. My palms were sweaty and my heartbeat sped up a bit. I heard Jackson singing in the shower as I went through the contents of the first box.

The first box held in it another, smaller box full of adult-sized pacifiers, and I smiled. I put it on the left side of me, which I had dubbed my “yes, I want this” pile. The next item I pulled out was a light green, soft blanket. Again, to the left it went. This pattern continued as I went through the other boxes. Blocks, legos, sippy cups, stuffed toys, fingerpaints, coloring books and crayons, little outfits, and many other things joined the box of pacifiers on my “yes” side. 

I paused when I got to the third box. It was full of what appeared to be changing supplies, pull-ups, and diapers. My face flamed as I moved the box directly in front of me, to the “maybe” pile. If I were being honest with myself in that moment, I would have put the items alongside the “yes” pile, but my doubts overtook me. Sure, Jackson uses them when he’s regressed, but he’s a baby: the youngest of all of us mentally and biologically. I’m the older brother—would it really be okay for me to have such things as well? What would they think of me? 

I pushed these thoughts aside as I examined my choices. I had hardly anything in the “no” pile. I had the diapering supplies and a bottle in the “maybe” section—I was interested in bottles, if only for the intimacy and closeness that comes with being fed a bottle by a caregiver. Most everything else were things that I felt completely interested in trying out. I was satisfied with my picks.

I startled as Jackson walked out of the restroom, now fully dressed in a dark red button up shirt and black pants. He smiled at me as I complimented his clothing choiceX

“Looking fresh, dude. Nathan won’t be able to take his eyes off of you.” He chuckled at me before walking over and sitting down on the floor next to me.

“Whatcha got here?” He asked with a grin.

“Oh, it’s nothing. I just separated everything into piles of stuff I definitely want to try out, might want to try out, and absolutely am not interested in.” He nodded. 

“Which is which?” I told him that the few items on the right side of me were the things I wasn’t interested in, the middle was maybe, and the left was yes. He smiled at me again.

“Seems like you’re eager to try out a lot of stuff. Just don’t pressure yourself to dive in too quickly, okay?” 

“Don’t worry; I’m going to take it slow at first.” He ruffled my hair as he stood up.

“Good. When were you thinking about trying to age down for the first time?” I shrugged my shoulders.

“No time like the present, right? I’m probably gonna head to the store and grab some things I can use temporarily, then try it out while you’re on your date. Mom and dad are over with a couple of friends for the evening, too, so the only one I really have to worry about is Noah.” Jackson agrees.

“Well don’t be afraid to call me if you need anything. Oh, and I don’t mind if you borrow some of my stuff for the night; it’ll probably save you some money at the store, anyways.” I raised my brows at him, surprised.

“Really?” He nodded.

“Yeah, just make sure to sanitize the pacifiers and sippy cups if you use them and put away the toys.” I promised I would and thanked him.

Our doorbell rang at that moment, and Jacks headed to the bedroom door.

“That’s probably Nathan, so I gotta go. Don’t forget what I said, and good luck, Jules.” I blushed and wished him a good date.

As soon as I heard the front door open and close again, I went downstairs. It was only about 4:30 in the afternoon, so I grabbed my car keys and told Noah I’d be back later. He looked curious as to where I was going so soon after getting home, but he didn’t push the topic. 

I got into the car and pulled out of the driveway, then drove out of town to a children’s supply shop where no one would recognize me. I knew they wouldn’t think I was buying the items for myself, but I still didn’t want people assuming I got some girl pregnant. As I pulled into the parking lot, I was glad to notice that it was relatively barren because of the impending storm. I strode inside with false confidence as I tried to figure out where to start.

The first aisle I went down was the toy aisle. I was overwhelmed by all of the choices, but I ended up picking the softest alligator stuffed animal I had ever seen and a shark plushie as well. Then, I picked out a couple of children’s story books and some more toys that involved building and creativity. Finally done, I went to the aisle with all of the blankets and such, and my eyes caught sight of a fluffy purple one. My fingers ran over it, and I hastily put it in the cart. 

After almost an hour of shopping for various gear, I decided to leave the store and head home. I would surely regret spending all of that money later, but in that moment I was as happy as a clam. I drove home as quickly as the speed limit would allow; the storm really was getting closer, and I did not want to be on the road when it hit.

I arrived home quickly, and I raced up the stairs with my bags in order to avoid Noah’s prodding questions. I went into my room first and locked the door. I poured the contents of the bag out onto my bed, and spread them out so I could look at them. Then, I went to Jackson’s room and set aside a pacifier and a coloring book before putting the rest of his items away. The nagging urge for a pull-up or something still pulsed through my body, but I stubbornly shook the feeling away and buried the diapering supplies away with the rest of Jackson’s stuff in the closet. 

I went back to my own room and noticed that there was only one thing missing: pretty clothes. I knew exactly what I needed. I went to my dresser and pulled on a pair of light grey sweatpants, then meandered to the very back of my closet and pulled out the multicolored, pastel sweatshirt Nathan had bought for my months before. I got dressed in the shirt before settling onto my bed and switching on the tv.

I just sat there for about half an hour, waiting to regress, but as 6:30 came and went, I was beginning to think about calling it quits. This was supposed to be easy, but it’s really not turning out that way. In a last attempt to regress myself, I switched the channel to a random kid’s show and popped the pacifier I had taken into my mouth. Slowly but surely, the storyline of the show piqued my interest, and I giggled from behind the guard of the pacifier as I became engrossed in the characters’ adventures. 

I crawled to the end of my bed as I felt my world become bigger, and I picked up the two plushies that I had bought earlier. I buried my face into them as I felt myself get little for the first time.

‘Huh,’ the remnants of my adult side spoke, ‘this is pretty nice. I could get used to this.’

As the characters on screen spoke directly to the audience, I squealed out answers to their questions with a lisp. I noticed the higher pitch of my voice and got excited.

Soon, however, my excitement faded to fear. A loud clap of thunder took my attention from the show. I whimpered quietly. I had never been a huge fan of storms, and I suppose my fear was amplified when I regressed. Another clap of thunder came, accompanied by a lightning strike that I could see from my window. I whined quietly and decided that I needed to get out of there. 

The problem with this, though, was that it seemed the storm had firmly planted me into this new headspace, and I had no clue how to make myself big again. I couldn’t go downstairs like that. I stayed put in bed for a few more minutes, trying to age up again, but it was no use. I felt small and helpless and frightened. I didn’t want to be alone. One more, especially loud boom of thunder made my body spring into action. I jumped out of bed with my two plushies, who I had cleverly named Sharky and Gator, respectively. I grabbed the plush blankie from the store, as well, and burst out of my room with the pacifier still in my mouth. I tiptoed down the steps hesitantly, and I looked out to the living room. 

It was empty.

I huffed frustratedly and kept walking through to the kitchen. I could hear the rain pounding heavily against the windows and bricks on the outside of my house, and it made my feet shuffle a bit faster towards the kitchen. 

Upon reaching the kitchen, I saw Noah with his back turned to me, looking through the fridge. He didn’t notice me. I walked a bit closer to him, but he still didn’t turn around. I wasn’t sure that I even wanted him to. I surely couldn’t handle being alone, but I didn’t want him to find out so soon, either. However, I really didn’t want to disturb Jackson and Nathan on their date. 

So, I took a deep breath, and I tugged gently on the back of Noah’s shirt. He turned around almost immediately.

“What’s up—Jules?” He took in my attire, my body language, and my tear-soaked face, and he put the pieces together immediately. 

His face softened as he gave me a gentle smile. 

“Hey, buddy. What’s wrong?” I whimpered at him and pouted, sniffling and rubbing my eyes with a fist. 

“ ‘s a storm.” He cooed quietly and opened his arms to me. I immediately snuggled into his embrace and held tightly onto his shirt. 

I buried my snotty face in his shirt, but he didn’t seem to mind. He rubbed my back soothingly as he scooped me up with some effort and carried me towards the living room. He laid me down on the couch and closed all of the blinds to block out the storm. Then, he took my big blankie and wrapped it around me. 

“You’re okay bubba, I’m right here. The storm won’t hurt you while I’m here. Are you thirsty or hungry, buddy?” I nodded, and he began to run towards the stairs. 

I began to cry harder as he tried to go up.

“Don’ leave! Stay! P’ease!” He smiled pitifully as he reassured me.

“It’s okay, Jules, I’m just going to get one of Jackson’s sippy cups from his room. You’re alright. I’ll be right back.” I shook my head.

“Gots one in my room... on bed.” He nodded. “Promise you come back?” He smiled.

“I pinky promise, Bubba. I’ll be back before you can count to ten.” I nodded skeptically, and he ran up the stairs to my room. 

He came back unbelievably quickly, holding my new sippy cup. He went to the kitchen and filled it, then came back and handed it to me. I tooka sip—it was fruit punch.

“T’ank you, Noah.” He switched the tv over to a kid movie for me as I drank.

“Anytime, Jules. Now, you sit tight while I go make you some dinner. We’ll cuddle as soon as I get back, okay? How does that sound?” 

“Good!” 

He went back to the kitchen and began making what I would later find out was mac ‘n’ cheese. I tried to drown out the storm with the loud tv, and it somewhat worked. I waited patiently for Noah to finish making dinner, and soon enough, he came back in with two bowls of mac ‘n’ cheese. He cuddled up next to me on the couch and wrapped us under my blankie, then began alternating between feeding himself and me as he watched the show casually.

I blushed and ate whatever he offered, and soon I had finished off my bowl. He placed the two bowls on the living room table in front of us, then wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his lap. 

I relaxed slowly into his hold and enjoyed how warm he was. I got entranced by the movie on the screen and would occasionally turn to Noah and babble quickly about the events taking place on screen. Though he was watching the whole time and could see what was happening, he indulged me and made shocked, intrigued faces when I spoke about it. I giggled loudly at the movie, but sadly, it came to an end. 

I yawned as the credits rolled, and turned my body to bury my face in Noah’s shoulder. He ran his fingers through my hair and rocked slightly from side to side. I began to drift off as he picked me up and took me to my room. 

He cleared the stuff from my bed before settling me down and tucking me in; he gave me a kiss on the top of my head, and I snuggled closer to my plushies. 

Before I fell asleep, I looked up at Noah one more time. 

“T’ank you, Bubby. Love you.” I slurred from behind the paci. He smiled as I closed my eyes and let myself drift off.

‘Man,’ I thought, ‘I could get used to this.’

**Author's Note:**

> Word count: 4,015


End file.
